A Game of Chances by T.C. Blue

Author:T.C. Blue [Blue, T.C.]
Language: nld
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: erotic MM, Romance MM
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

The head psychiatrist kept trying to imply, without saying it in plain words, of course, because that would be too fucking easy, that it wasn’t actually drugs he wanted. That he wanted booze only as a crutch, something to keep him from thinking about what he actually did want. Like that was some sort of shocking insight.

He knew what he wanted. Knew he could never have it again, too. Because all the reasons he’d given himself for leaving Marcus behind were still fucking valid, God damn it.

And Marcus must hate him by now, anyway.

For leaving, for being a failure and a coward…God, for getting fucking syphilis, though Marcus wouldn’t know that. He wouldn’t know about the nameless, faceless men. Wouldn’t know that Jake, as he’d been calling himself, hadn’t cared whether they’d used condoms when they fucked him. And Marcus for damned sure wouldn’t know that Tanner Martin was dead.

He, on the other hand, would always know what he could have had if he’d had a different father, a different career…a different life. A life that would have been safe to share with Marcus. A life that wouldn’t get the man killed, for fuck’s sake.

So, yeah. The drugs were a crutch and so was the booze. Shocker. He wanted Marcus, but he couldn’t have him. So a fucking bottle or needle or whatever could stand in.

He’d wanted Steven fucking Caulfield to pay for James’ death, too, but that hadn’t worked out either, and…God, even if he could have found some way to have Marcus, Marcus wouldn’t want someone like him. A failure. An ineffective, cut-rate Gentleman who couldn’t even close a Game. And that was all the more reason for a fifth of bourbon.

Of course, he wasn’t going to get that until fucking Patrice let him the fuck out of God damned rehab-jail, but he could fake it, he told himself. He could put on a good fucking act, convince Patty and the doctors that he was fine. And this time, when they did finally let him out? Well, he would disappear. He would bury himself so deep under, nobody would ever find him, no matter how hard they looked.

It was a plan. A good plan. Now he just needed to calm the beast in his gut for long enough that it would happen.

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